THis is me,just after I had learned one of my first lessons in shrinking alone. I had asked the Old Lady Chase if I could have a taste of the fresh pinapple she was cutting up in her kitchen. She was always nice to me. Surely she would let me taste this new and wonderful smelling food she was preparing. She lived alone; who could she be planning to share it with if not me.

She sharply told me, "No, you don't ask for things. That's very rude."
She took me to my mother and told her that I had asked for what I wanted.
Mother scolded me again, telling me the same thing:
"It's terrible, horrible, awful to ask for what you want.

A very effective coping mechanism

When you are two and have autism. When you become an adult it is nice to find more effective ways. Unfortunately most of us revert to this style. It is called, Shrinking Alone. (see next post for origin)

Photo of 2 year old with waist basket over his head to cut out noise and view soon to be posted, as soon as I figure out why it keeps being rejected. Maybe the computer has unresolved issues.

Why "Shrinking Alone"

My nephew accused me one day,

in a very hateful letter,

of sending out hypicritical stuff on my blog,

indeed things which were "not Growing Together,
but the exact opposite,"

which when I tried to get my mind wrapped around it,

could only be "shrinking alone."

I joked with my sister, when I forwarded her the letter:

"What is the exact opposite of Growing Together as F said,

would that be shrinking alone?

Well perhaps it is.


I have shrunk alone for now 60 years.

I don't want you and your kids to.

Let's free our decendants to Grow Together and not allow them to Shrink Alone.

Thank you Nephew, I've had this Business Name for over 20 years, now, Never knew

where it came from but refused stubornly to change it, ever.



I like to think that my nephew and his wife with the brand new baby, laughed and broke his anger tension and stress when he read my reply with that in it.

I like to think all that I do

helps people avoid "Shrinking Alone".

Unfortunately, before we stop shrinking alone,

we have to face truth, and admit things to ourselves we've been denying for years,

in my case nearly 60.

We have to uncover family secrets,

dispell mistruths, myths and out and out lies we've been told over a life time.

Lies that we've told over and over to ourselves

and others in order to avoid the painful truths.

The funny things is, when the lies are dismissed,

the secrets told and the myths busted,

the pain flees like the fog in a warm, breeze of a summer morning,

and all that is left is the wonderment,


of "why was I so afraid to face this?"

Along with the possible fleeting memories,

without the attached emotional pain that used

to stand as a granite wall guarding us from the sight of ?????

Theretically all over the world, across nations,

cultures, races, gender, age, religions, and what else is there?

we do that.

We shrink alone all our lives,

afraid of facing the painful truths that exist in our families.

As my nephew so beautifully put it, (he's quite a word smith) afraid of

"What would your dad say" (dead 36 years)

"How does that look?"


What does that do to the family name?"

Our Familiy Name?

Our first known American Relative and his son and daugter in law were

imprisoned and hung for withchcraft in Salem MS.

(see blog post on witch craft trials.)

Others were horse thieves and my grand dad and father had stills during prohibition.

Daddy says he joined the Mormon church because all the guys

he gambeled and drank with on their way to Mesa to the temple

in his Concho Glenn Trading Post were Mormons and talked him into it.

If you know different, tell me the story, we'll bolg it together.

Tell me about our family name.

I have written books about our family name.

Try reading them, and loving our family as I do.

Try sending your children into the past through imaginary time travel as I have in Turn the Hearts of The Children. Try teaching them to love all the dirty laundry, and laughing and crying with me on the journeys.

They are on this blog. A whole library of our family name.

400 years of Jacobs,Hoblits, Sewards, Larisons, Baca and Bustamante, Larranagas,

family history.

You are missing out on knowing who you are if you don't read it.

All of it. And now it's available, free on the interntet for anyone,

so there are no more family secrets, no more shameful coverups.

Just plain, as true as I can find it, family history

in all its glory and wonderment.

Please help me add to it by learning about it,

researching it and writing down the stories as you know them.

I am working on blogging Uncle Glenn's family contributions, which are many.

Good luck grand children, grand neices and nephews,

for you all are grand, and you all are great,

and you can all live without the fear of Bi Polar if you will

"lick and groom" each other and learn about cognitive therapy.

As my nephew so beautifully put it:

Learn about it from Growing Together or other sources, or Shrink Alone.